Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference.
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
Heisenberg indetermination principle applied to ill luck:
The better you know the amount of ill luck that will strike you, the worse you know when this will happen, and vice-versa.
Relativistic correction of Murphy’s law:
Whether things can go wrong or not, it depends on your frame of reference.
Corollary (otherwise said: ill luck is actually absolute):
Regardless of your frame of reference, things will go wrong anyway.
Murphy’s Law of Thermodynamics
Things get worse under pressure.
The Murphy Philosophy
Smile . . . tomorrow will be worse.
Quantization Revision of Murphy’s Laws
Everything goes wrong all at once.
Murphy’s Constant
Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value
Murphy’s Law of Research
Enough research will tend to support whatever theory.
Addition to Murphy’s Laws
In nature, nothing is ever right. Therefore, if everything is going right … something is wrong.
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
Rule of Accuracy: When working toward the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer.
Corollary: Provided, of course, that you know there is a problem.
Nothing is as easy as it looks.
Everything takes longer than you think.
Everything takes longer than it takes.
If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.
Every solution breeds new problems.
If it jams – force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
When a broken appliance is demonstrated for the repairman, it will work perfectly.
In any hierarchy, each individual rises to his own level of incompetence, and then remains there.
When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.
Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
Murphy’s golden rule: whoever has the gold makes the rules.
A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.
In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.